4dpo and playing the waiting game...

Not much going on besides waiting in my 2ww...which is Boooorrriinngg!  Tomorrow I will have downed my last of the pineapple core, I feel like an idiot every time I eat it, like it's probably doing a whole lot of nothing, but hey can't ever say I never tried it.  If desire alone could get me PG, I'd be in my 3rd trimester by now!  I'm hoping beyond all hope this is the month of my BFP, but muting my emotions, just in case it's not.  Tis a hard balance to juggle, but all part of the journey.  I really would love to hold off til 12dpo to test this cycle, but don't know if I'm capable of such a feat...so we'll see.  My sweet mommie is coming in this weekend, so I'm hoping her being here will help me keep my mind off of testing.  Then I start thinking about how hard it will be to keep it to myself if I am!  But, as of right now, I really feel that would be the best thing, considering my last pregnancy...it will be really hard not to let the fear of MC get to me next go round, but I must live by Faith not fear.  One more week til testing!!!