Status Update on the May Fertile Window

Okay, so after two days of positive OPK's, false one's with no temp rise, I finally started getting negative OPK's yesterday and today, which is good, for now.  I will definitely be wanting to see a positive OPK at the beginning of next week, WITH a nice temp rise!  I started taking a daily dose of 81mg baby aspirin yesterday (5/16/11) along with my daily prenatal vitamin.  I ordered some Red Raspberry Leaf capsules last weekend to also take daily, but have not received them yet. 

Taking the Baby Aspirin in the small doses each day while TTC is supposed to help with blood flow and act as a blood thinner.  It should help my reproductive system function more smoothly and also is said to help with implantation and prevent miscarriages. Once you become PG you usually stop taking the aspirin, unless otherwise instructed by your Doctor.

Read more about taking aspirin while TTC here!

The Red Raspberry Leaf capsules are supposed to promote overall health and bring healing to the reproductive system, helps prevent cysts, and buffers PMS symptoms.  It is safe take before, during and after pregnancy.

Read more about the benefits of Red Raspberry Leaf!

To my delight, my local pharmacy store sells the Soft Cups.  I am planning on trying them out for the first time tonight and I'm very nervous about them.  They seem like they will take some getting used to when it comes to inserting them and removing them, so hopefully it won't turn out to be as bad as I anticipate and they'll work great for me.  The longer I can keep DH's little soldiers close to home base the better! *wink*
Today I am 5days til Ovulation, so this is a good day to try to make a baby, seeing sperm can survive in the uterus for 5days. It's best to have as much sperm, hanging out in my uterus, as I can gather when O makes her appearance.   Also, it is said that girl spermies swim slower and last longer, while boys swim faster and don't last as long, so when you BD further away from O, you're more likely to conceive a girl!  So, tonight, I'm trying for a GIRL!  Can you imagine ME with a GIRL??!!  I'm not sure I can, but I would sure love to!  The saga continues....

And the Fertile Window Craziness has begun...

So, instead of waiting til today (Monday), like I said I would, to start using my OPK's for this cycle, I decided to use one last night (late, around 10pm).  I had checked my CP and thought it seemed fairly open, then I got a little EWCM, so figured, what the heck, I'll go ahead and use one.  Well, guess what I should see to my shock and amazement, but a very clear, and strong +!  GREAT, so here we go!...According to my last 2 cycles, I am not due to actually O til Sun./Mon., a whole week away!  Last cycle I got, what looked to be, but not as strong as last nights, a + on CD11.  I actually O'ed (confirmed with BBT) on CD21, so 10 days way to early to be getting anything close to a +.  I continued testing that week and they did go back to negative then geared up to positive up to CD21, getting a true + on CD20. 

Yesterday was CD14 and expected O is CD21, so a + one week early?  Why is this happening, I have no idea! But, I do have a theory... I'm wondering if my body is trying to O, according to a normal 28day cycle, but for some reason, it's not happening and then a week later I finally do. (?)  So, far, that is appearing to be the case.  As far as last night's + OPK, I'm unsure as to whether to take it as a fluke or truth yet.  My temp did go up this morning, but not drastically or even PostO temp worthy.  If my temp rises significantly tomorrow morning, I can only assume I O'ed a week early. Good grief, I hope not!  We did BD CD12 & CD14, but I was planning on a whole lot more than that.  If my theory is correct and I can expect these kind of flukes, which only time will tell, then I should still be on schedule for my O at the end of the week and can still count on my plan.

I'm going to use another OPK tonight, but really my temp will tell the story in the morning.  So, until I know any different the "May Plan" is still in effect.  I have decided to forgo the pineapple and just use the baby aspirin instead, it just seems easier and supposedly they function the same, as a blood thinner, good for implantation. 

And let me just add, with all this OPK craziness, I am SO EXTREMELY glad I am temping! I would be SO lost, if not!  Can you imagine?! I would have believed I O'ed when I hadn't and possibly missed my true O timing!  Oh the Horror of a thought!  Stay tuned for more TTC fun! LOL!



Pic of my Early OPK positive on CD14, now is that confusing or what?!



Gearing up for another Fertile Window!

Fertile Windows: Take an eternity to open up;  and have to ability to Rock your World completely; they can be filled with excitement, anticipation, perseverance, dedication, Lot's of OPK testing, CM & CP checking, and of course Baby Dancing!  This is the time when Hope is at it's highest; the moment of the Roller Coaster when you're making the slow approach UP, hands in the air, belly full of butterflies, ready to throw all caution to the wind. Your daydreams are filled with visions of a pregnant belly and delivery 9months later, and your night-time dreams are filled with the visions a baby you've haven't met yet. 

This is what my next week will be like.  Monday I will begin using my OPK's and Tuesday I will commence the BDing.  Haven't decided yet whether I want to pick up the Instead Cup and give that a whirl this cycle.  May go check em out and see how much they are.  It's always fun and exciting to add a new "tool" to your TTC tool belt, you never know which one will do the trick or maybe it will be a combination of all of your tools.  The most important ingredient to making a baby is the Holy Spirit, without Him it is impossible, but with Him ALL things are possible!  I pray THIS is my time and Father will allow my womb to open once again and be filled with New Life!

Praying May will bring New Life in the New Year!!

=

Mothers Day Blues

Feeling really sad this Mother's Day.  I wonder if I'll ever get to the point where I don't think about the MC as often or count how far long I should be.  The harsh reality is I fear I will have to endure this sadness forever, well, as long as I dwell here on this earth.  I'm filled with mixed emotions today, Anger, because my little one was taken from me too soon. As horrible as it is to say, yes, anger, towards my Heavenly Abba.  Why did He allow this to happen?  Didn't He know how excited I was?  Did I deserve to have such an evil trick played on me, to have a baby dangled in front of me and then taken away?  I know all of these thoughts are lies from the enemy, who would love more than anything for me to be angry with my Father, to cause our relationship to falter.  But, If I'm not honest with myself about these thoughts I could never recognize them for what they are and choose to renew my thinking.  On the flip side, I know my Father loves me more than anyone every could and does not desire to hurt His Children, especially those crying out for His Will to be done in their lives. I have to convince myself that He has my best interests at heart and the pregnancy was just not a viable one that would've ended in tragedy either way, which in that case, I'm thankful to Him that it ended sooner rather than later.  This internal struggle was intense the days following the MC and I had thought I dealt with it and had come to a peace about it, but I guess some of it is still lingering.  Not only do I still have anger, but of course an immense saddens, a sadness that only an empty and longing womb can bring.  Will my womb ever be filled with new life again?  Has it been closed up forever?  These are questions that haunt me, questions that only time can answer.  And even if I could know the answer for sure, would I accept it?  I bottle these emotions up and deal with them silently, what else can I do? Even if I screamed them from the rooftop and was surrounded by emotional support it would not bring the healing within that I need.  Only my Heavenly Father can bring the comfort and healing and peace that I need.  And only I can allow Him to do that.  I desire happiness again, joy, expectancy, confidence in myself, that I'm where I'm supposed to be, doing what I'm supposed to be doing.  I feel lost, direction-less, stagnant. And very lonely at times.  When will things change, when will I change, when will life make sense again?

The "May" Plan

I am on CD4, AF's fury is calming and I'm gathering my thoughts and plans for my next fertile window.  My next fertile window will begin in 12 days with EOD 19 days away, which would make one whole week of TTC Fun! :-)  Okay, so here's the plan:

Monday, May 16th: Begin using OPK's
Tuesday, May 17th: OPK/ Begin DTD every other night til O weekend
Wednesday, May 18th: OPK
Thursday, May 19th: OPK/ DTD
Friday, May 20th: OPK
Saturday, May 21st: OPK/DTD/Start Mucinex to get the juices flowing :-)
Sunday, May 22nd: OPK/DTD/Mucinex/Preseed (if needed)
Monday, May 23rd: If I did not O on Sun....OPK/DTD (if I'm lucky)..if I do not O til this day I will likely skip DTD on Sunday and DTD on Monday instead.

This plan should be more than efficient for eggie to meet spermie, NOW whether they will successfully make a love connection is not in my hands...so keeping my fingers crossed and prayers lifted for a BFP in May!
*Interesting little tidbit found at www.justmommies.com* My best chance of conceiving a girl will be on Tuesday & Thursday.  My best chance of conceiving a boy will be on Saturday-Monday.
~PINK or BLUE...I WANT YOU~

AF Update!

I'm happy to say...AF did not let me down today, she showed up!! YAY!  I'm already so excited to be able to take another crack at my Rainbow this month!  My EOD: 5/20-21.  Now, I can sit back and relax while I wait for my next fertile window to open up...*Big Sigh of Relief*ahhhhhh....

Stay tuned for all the May Drama as it unfolds...

Baby Dust to Me!!

AF where are you!?!

Okay this is getting annoying now!  Here I am, Not Pregnant, and waiting around for AF to show and she's late!  WTH?  This is really upsetting the balance of the force, I mean my charts.  Now granted, I only have two full charts under my belt at this point, last cycle (March) and this cycle (April, which will be completed once you know who shows up), so I still don't have a whole lot of charting to go by, especially considering the fact that last cycle's LP count was messed up thanks to me being in the hospital and missing two crucial temps.  But, even then, my LP for last cycle could not exceed 14days.  Well, today is day 14, so that means if AF doesn't show today my LP's won't match, which I'm pretty sure is impossible.  Needless to say, this ticks me off royally, cause I spend so much time and effort on doing these dumb charts, so if they're not going to be accurate it's pointless to even do them!  Can I get a big "UGH!"?  HOPEFULLY, I'm jumping the gun on the LP issue and AF will show before the day's over.  The sooner AF comes and goes the sooner I can get on with TTC!
I have signs of AF, but no blood!  My bb's have started to become somewhat sore, I'm feeling very light cramping and I had a huge temp drop, below my coverline, this morning, which all add up to AF....so where is she???  If anyone sees her, could you please tell her to come on already, Rachel is, not so patiently, waiting for her?!!